cocsie

5 Reasons Why Mozart Hates this Wireless Speaker

Spoiler: it gets drop tested to destruction

by Cocsie on May 06, 2017 | 07:58 PM

 

And what a gift this was. I got my shiny fancy new SBOX BT-160 Wireless Bluetooth Speaker as a gift and it looked like the perfect candidate for a drop test. But not before I had it play some classics just for the fun of it. Well, at least it went down in style. Mozart that is - with syphilis and in poverty. Can't say the same thing about this cheap wireless speaker though.

Check out the video for the full drop test, but first find out why Mozart would've hated it.

1. Mozart liked to play the piano

That is, he liked to press keys and buttons but the volume buttons on this joke of a wireless speaker don't work straight out of the box. 

2. Mozart wore a fancy wig

And that tells us he probably had some style. Can't say the same thing about the plastics on this cheap wireless speaker. It's like the underpaid Chinese worker that build it had a bad day.  The edges ar so rough you can cut your hand by holding it, not to mention is feels as good to the touch as stepping on a sea urchin. I'm sorry for the poor sea urchin for being dragged into this mess.

3. Mozart made stuff that lasted a while

Look at his work, you still listen to it today. Maybe not you, but someone cultured definitely does. The SBOX BT-160 didn't survive an afternoon. More like an hour from start to drop.

4. Mozart liked music

This wireless speaker hates music, why else would it sound so bad, just to spite us? I still think this is a wrong labeled voice changing machine.

5. Nobody attended his funeral

Share this article and make sure everybody witness the end of the SBOX BT-160, the greatest shame to technology a Chinese factory ever produced.


 

It's safe to assume that Mozart, had he heard his music play on a bluetooth wireless speaker like this would have left this planet even quicker then 35 as he did. The fact that he will travel through time just to eliminate the engineers behind this abomination is still a possibility. Maybe also finish his Requiem this time around.

1
Cocsie's Score
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